Today was the first day I felt the stirrings of the new school year, something that I greet every time with the exact same mixed feelings I had as a second grader. It reminded me of this “back to school” letter from the summer of 1984 that I’ve long admired for its unbridled optimism and unintentional comedy:
They did not, it may surprise you to learn, win Beer-Bike that spring.
Bonus: I’m pretty sure that’s not a toilet.
For a moment I thought it was some cryptic message about the lights in the bathroom.